What does your confidence hold you back from doing?
In order to build your confidence or self-esteem, you need to ask yourself the question – what are the thoughts or stories my mind is telling me?
You know what I’m talking about, that moment when you decide NOT to do something (for example, go to that party, apply for that job promotion etc) or you find yourself taking the ‘safe’ option. What have you given up or missed out on?
Do you know what your mind is telling you in these moments?
Here are some common statements our mind tells us, do any of these sound familiar:
- I’m not good enough
- I’m not qualified/experienced enough/clever enough
- I can’t do it
- They won’t like me
Once you know what the story or thoughts are that your mind is telling you, you can change how it influences you and the power these stories/thoughts hold over you and influence your behaviours and thus take you away from living the life you want to lead.
If these stories and thoughts don’t hold power over you, you are then free to go for that promotion, go on that date with your dream guy, try that new hobby, go travelling, accept that invitation to that party or whatever it is you feel you’ve been held back from doing.
Noticing the stories and thoughts your mind is telling you is the first step to releasing their hold over you, enabling you to behave and live a life you want to live.
One simple way is to start paying attention to your thoughts. Each time you make a decision that involves taking you away from something you want – stop and bring attention to what your mind is telling you that is affecting your behaviour.
Stop reading for a moment and notice what thoughts are you having right now?
What thoughts/stories is your mind telling you?
Is there a pattern of thoughts your mind tells you, that are more like a reoccurring story?
The ability to notice our own thoughts is an important skill (notice the language I’m using – it’s a skill – something that is learnt and practiced).
Pssssst – little myth buster – fear is the most common emotion behind not doing things you want to do.
Fear you are not good enough
Fear you will get hurt
Fear you will fail
However, it’s not fear that’s the issue it’s our attitude towards fear (thinking it’s bad) that holds you back and keeps you stuck in behaviours, taking you away from the life you want to lead.
Once you start noticing the thoughts/stories that your mind is telling you multiple times in a day, it is easier to see how simple it is to get hooked into these thoughts and believing they are true.
Here’s a secret – most of these thoughts and stories that your mind tells you are NOT TRUE! BUT they are influencing your life and behaviour and not in a helpful way.
I’m here to tell you that these thoughts and stories your mind is telling you do not need to affect or take you away from the life you want.
With some simple exercises and practice, you can take back the power over the thoughts and stories your mind tells you and change your behaviour by taking actions towards the life you want to live.
If you want to know how I can help you do this, get in touch.