June 7, 2016 0 Comments Self-Esteem

6 Tips to Increase your Self-Esteem

Time and time again I hear about the same reason holding people back – whether it be from achieving the career they want, the relationship they seek or the lifestyle they dream of; the emotion of fear.

Fear seems to be the most consistent negative emotion that stops people from doing what they want to do. This relates to our self-esteem which impacts upon our confidence. I can relate to this, it took me a while to make the leap to set up my own business due to my fears. What happens if I fail? Or if I’m not good enough? These were just a few negative thoughts that played on my mind.

Although most of us will experience fear at some point, there are ways to increase our self-esteem to overcome our fears and allow us to follow our dreams.

I wanted to share with you some steps that have proven useful in overcoming fears, leading to positive change and to taking that leap!

1. Focus on your strengths

How many times a day do you use the word ‘can’t’ or find yourself saying ‘I’m not good at that’?

It is time to start focusing on what you are good at, start advertising and playing to your strengths. If you are unsure what these are, ask friends, family or colleagues what they value most about you and why. You can keep a record and start building a diary of strengths. Reflect on these daily, the more you think about and act upon your strengths the better you will feel about yourself!

2. Be kind to yourself

We are all guilty of being negative towards ourselves in our language and our actions. We are human; we all make mistakes – try to start forgiving yourself, understand what you can learn from the experience and move forward. The alternative is becoming stuck and your self-esteem suffering as a consequence.

You can start by becoming more aware of what you need. Do you need to sleep more, relax or have more fun? Try and create some space in your life for the things you need and enjoy – it is important and all part of self-care.

3. Build positive relationships

Try to spend your time with people who you can trust, feel comfortable talking about your feelings, are supportive, non-judgmental and who do not criticise you. If surrounded by positive and supportive people you are more likely to feel good about yourself.

There may be people in your life who bring you down and reinforce your negative beliefs about yourself, it is important that you take action to remedy this. This could just mean becoming more assertive or changing the way you internally respond.

4. Stop comparing yourself

This is one that we have all done at some stage and probably continually without even realising it! Comparing yourself to others generally comes from a place of envy or jealousy, neither of which are enjoyable emotions. There are two reasons why this is not a good idea, firstly you never know the true picture of the other person, a lot of the time it is not a fair comparison – when is something ever black or white? Secondly, it generally results in negative feelings and thoughts that impact your self-esteem and leave you feeling terrible.

5. Look after your physical health

‘Healthy Body, Healthy Mind’

  • Exercise – physical activity releases endorphins (feel good hormones). This could be going for a brisk walk, swimming, running or something like yoga or pilates. You can find something that suits you and your lifestyle!
  • Diet – did you know that 95% of your serotonin (a neurotransmitter that contributes to feeling good) receptors are located in your gut? This means it is really important to eat as healthy as possible (with some room for treats)!
  • Sleep – we all feel irritable and not at our best without enough sleep, it’s just about ensuring that it becomes more of a priority.

6. Achievements and goal setting

Look at your achievements in your life so far and write them down. This can be anything from passing an important exam, delivering a successful project, making a difference in someone else’s life etc. Look at these often – this will make you feel good and be confident about your abilities.

The next step is to set yourself goals; the point of this is to get into the habit of setting goals, achieving them and perhaps most importantly celebrating them! Be realistic, start with small goals and focus on your strengths, what comes naturally to you – work with the heavy stuff later. This also gets you into the ‘doing’ stage instead of always talking or thinking about ideas instead of actioning them!

One last thing – SMILE! I always feel better when I smile – simple but effective!

What do you find works best? I would love to hear from you!

If you would like to explore further how I can help or would like to make an appointment for a discovery call please contact me.