Tips To Beat Fear
Fear is the most common emotion that holds us back in our careers and relationships and can prevent us from seeking out or accepting opportunities.
It is an emotion that we have all experienced at some point in our life.
On a personal level, I have been held back from my fears that have affected the following:
- I’ve always wanted to live in another country for a few years and never done so out of fear of it not working out and having to return home
- Trying new things – for example, my husband loves to dance salsa and play tennis. I get embarrassed easily and do not like doing things unless I’m good at them! In order to become good, you need to practice, which involves group lessons and overcoming the fear of potentially looking silly. I have overcome this with salsa (and now enjoy it) and am still working on the tennis.
Fear isn’t something you can or would want to stop completely, in some situations it is helpful and steers us away from danger or gives us an adrenaline rush (such as before an interview or presentation). However in the situations it isn’t a wanted companion, there are things we can do to help beat the fears that are holding us back, see my tips to beat fear below.
Here are my top tips to beat fear:
1. Get a piece of paper and write down your answers to the following questions:
- What is the worst that can happen?
- If this happened how would you resolve it?
- What do you have to lose from this?
- What do you have to gain from this?
- What can you learn from this experience?
This helps us to clarify what the actual fears are and that the worst situation is usually something that you can bounce back from (which would in turn be a learning curve and build resilience).
2. In the words of Nike, ‘Just Do It’.
For some people it’s not about thinking just doing. ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’
Most of the time, the anticipation is always worse than the actual event, so why not just jump in?
3. Worrying/Anxiety Does Not Help or Change The Event
This is the one I find most useful.
For a lot of us the worrying and anxiety that precedes an event or around a situation is thought to make things better, prepare us in some way. In reality this worrying does nothing if not make us more anxious. Unless you are preparing for something in a productive manner, whether that be in a professional sense or ways that help keep you calm (eg. Exercise, creative activities, meditation etc), the endless worrying just makes you feel bad.
Once we realise that worrying has no benefit and actually makes us feel worse, it becomes easier to stop. Instinctively we don’t want to do anything that harms us and once we recognise something is harmful it’s easier to stop.
4. Reward yourself
Promise yourself a reward for after the event/situation comes to a close. For some it is easier to focus on the end point, rather than what needs to be done to get there.
I often find that people are very hard on themselves and quite often forget to allow some credit for their achievements – no matter how small.
5. Share your concerns
It can be such a help to speak to a trusted family member, friend or if easier someone from your chosen professional support network, eg. Coach, Therapist, Natural Medicine Practitioner).
You can talk it through and also speak through the answers to tip number 1, instead of writing them down.
The end result is knowing you are not alone, having the confidence of support behind you and often uncovering connections or having some lightbulb moments which profoundly affect your life.
I hope you’ve found my tips to beat fear helpful, I would love to hear your thoughts and any other tips you may have!